Logan Cup jokesPosted by brmtaylor.com admin on April 26, 2009
We are 4 matches into the Logan Cup tournament, and it's time for a look at the lighter side of Zimbabwe cricket. Please take the jokes in the good spirit that they were intended!
Ladder after Round 4 Team M W L D Pts Northerns 4 3 1 0 55 Easterns 4 3 0 1 53 Centrals 4 1 2 1 30 Westerns 4 0 4 0 18
Clement Mahachi was having some coaching problems, so he decided to go and see Kevin Curran. "Kevin, you've been an absolute success over the years. What's your secret?"
"You see Clement, I keep my players mentally fit as well as physically fit. I do this by asking riddles. I'll show you." He calls Regis Chakabva over. "Regis, got a question for you. I am my father's son, but I am not my brother. Who am I?"
"Easy. It's you," Regis quickly replies.
"That's correct. See, Clement? That's how it works."
Clement is amazed, so he tries it on his team at the next training session. He calls Keith Dabengwa and Chris Mpofu over and asks them, "I am my father's son, but I am not my brother. Who am I?" These two are bewildered. They spend ten minutes racking their brains, but nothing comes out. Back in the building, Dabengwa decides to see if ZC President Peter Chingoka can help, so he gives him a call.
"I've got a question for you. I am my father's son, but I am not my brother. Who am I?"
Peter thought for a while, then had a breakthrough. "Oh, I've got it! It'd be you!" Dabengwa and Mpofu rushed to Clement Mahachi's office.
"Coach!" they say. "We've got the answer!"
"Alright. I am my father's son, but I am not my brother. Who am I?"
Mpofu proudly says, "You're Keith Dabengwa!"
"No, you idiot," says Clement. "You're bloody Kevin Curran!"
A tourist in Bulawayo
Tourist: "Where is Queens Sports Club? I've heard about this thing called Westerns and I want to see them play."
Local: "Mate, so does everyone else."
A kid is in the middle of a custody battle between divorcing parents. The judge asks to talk to the kid alone. "Do you want to live with your father?" he asks. The kid shakes his head. "Why not?" the judge asked.
"Because he beats me."
"Oh. So you'd rather live with your mother?"
"No. She beats me too."
"So who do you want to live with then?"
"Westerns Cricket Team," the kid says matter-of-factly.
"Westerns Cricket Team! Why do you want to live with them?"
"Because they never beat anybody!"
Q: What has 22 legs and can't climb a ladder?
The Curran and Mahachi interview
Clement Mahachi and Kevin Curran are getting interviewed and the interviewer turns to Clement: "So Clement, after a few disastrous results in the last couple of weeks where do you see Westerns season going from here?"
"Well, as I said at the start of the season, our main aim is to finish in the top 2 and perform well, and then, you never know... I still think we're in with a good chance for this year's trophy!"
The interviewer turns to Curran: "So then Kevin, what do you think of the Northerns prospects then?"
"Well I'm hoping that we'll win all our games to finish on top, and in the process hammer the living daylights out of each team with an innings victory in each match, and comfortably win the Logan Cup. Then we shall set our sights on equaling and then beating the six-in-a-row trophy wins set by Mashonaland between 1999-00 and 2004-05!"
The interviewer is a bit shocked and turns to Kevin Curran and says: "You're not serious, surely?"
"Well Clement started it!"
There was a competition held for fans at a Westerns training session. You bought a ticket that had when Westerns would win their first match. Whoever had the ticket closet to the correct time won a prize. I bought a ticket, opened it up and it said "2018".
What's the difference?
Q. What's the difference between Centrals and an arsonist?
A. An arsonist wouldn't waste 6 matches.
Westerns call centre
Westerns have apparently set up a call centre for fans who are troubled by their current form.
The number is 1800 10 10 10. Calls charged at peak rate for overseas members.
Once again the number is: 1800 won zero won zero won zero.